Five on Friday vol. 5 – Q&A about our relationship & marriage

Can y’all believe Valentine’s Day is next week?! Where January felt like it lasted approximately 82 days, February seems to be flying by! It’s been a while since I’ve done a Five on Friday post, so I thought it would be fun to do a Valentine’s Day themed one and chat about relationships, our marriage & more! While Nick and I don’t make a big deal about Valentine’s Day, we always make sure the other knows how much they are appreciated and cared for and that sure does go a long way in any relationship! Speaking of, has anyone taken the five love languages quiz? We did a LONG time ago and I want to take it again to see what we both have so that we can continue to grow our relationship in the best ways!

Do y’all have any fun plans for Valentine’s Day?! Nick and I are planning to make a nice dinner at home. We both love cooking, so it’s perfect for us! Anyway, let’s get started with the questions that y’all asked!

Q: What did you two decide to do about joint finances once you were married? I’m getting married next year & that’s a big question we have! 

A: I got this question a few times on IG stories and rightfully so! Joining finances is something that is a HUGE decision and there’s so many ways to do it. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, it really just depends on what you both feel comfortable with. Even talking about finances can be overwhelming and stressful to some (myself included!) but having those conversations early on help make the transition into married life so much easier. We did pre-marital counseling and we discussed finances during a few of our sessions based on how we had answered certain questions in our survey. It was a great way to talk about finances openly without feeling uncomfortable.

With that said, we chose to have a joint savings account and a joint checking account. We both still have our own checking accounts too and I also have a separate account for my business. We use our joint checking account to pay bills and living expenses (which we split 50/50), while our separate accounts are for other expenses (like buying each other gifts, personal expenses, etc.) We both felt comfortable with that and it’s worked for us for over a year and a half! We didn’t want to dump all of our money into one account in case of the account(s) getting compromised and for the sole fact that if we want to buy each other something we don’t want the other to get a notification about it. Talk about a spoiled surprise haha! 😉

Q: What is something about marriage that you hadn’t expected?

A: This question made me stop and think! To be honest I’ve sat on this question for a while and I’m STILL trying to come up with an answer. I think I knew this going into it, but what used to be an “I” decision is now a “we” and “us” decision. We are truly a team and everything we do is reflected on us, not just one or the other. Again, this was something I knew about ahead of time, but it’s funny to see just how many “us” decisions there have been in the year and a half since we’ve been married. I no longer think about “oh would I be ok with that? Is that something I want to pursue?” It’s “do WE want to pursue that?!”

Q: What was the biggest change/adjustment when you moved in together? Please share any tips you have!

A: Nick and I have lived together almost three years. We moved in together in August 2016, after dating for a year and a half, and got engaged December 2016. Yes, we did live together before marriage. It was a personal decision and something that worked of the both of us. Looking back I am happy that we decided to do that because it was one less adjustment that we had to make.

One of the biggest adjustments we had when moving in together was learning how to live together. Nick and I both work non-traditional jobs. Neither one of us work traditional 9-5 hours, so learning to balance work and home life was hard. When we first moved in together often times we would find ourselves working on our computers until 9 o’clock without having spent any real, quality time together. Since we had both lived alone prior to moving in together we weren’t used to those boundaries or shutting off our jobs. When you live alone it’s easy to blow off plans or say you have too much work to do, but when you live with a significant other it’s important to put boundaries in place and spend quality time with each other. There are times where I’m still guilty of working too late or finishing up something later than I wanted, but now we both make it a priority to “shut work off” at a certain time and it’s made a world of difference.

One of my biggest tips when moving in with someone is to communicate. When Nick and I moved in together we sat down the very first night and talked about things that bothered us, what our expectations were, etc. and it really set the scene, so to speak, for living together. Both of us have been very open when something has bothered us and it’s helped us to not fester frustrations and nip them in the bud. Another VERY important thing is to choose your battles. If something that bothers you is so minuscule, in the scheme of things it’s better to let it go than to harp on it. I think it’s safe to say that both Nick and I each do things that bother the other, but it’s not important enough to even bring up! He loves to leave our closet light on and I constantly leave my laundry in the dryer, but instead of badgering the other we both just handle it and laugh it off each time! When it comes to chores around the house, we both do the ones we prefer, and it just so happens that the other hates those! I don’t mind doing laundry or vacuuming, especially since I’m home during the day. Nick doesn’t mind doing the dishes or loading/unloading the dishwasher (I hate doing dishes!) As long as you communicate and manage the day-to-day activities around the house, that’s a great start! And perhaps my biggest piece of advice is do not expect the person to change when you’re living together. The other person will still have some of the same habits and tendencies that they had when they lived alone (or with roommates!) and syncing together takes time!

Q: Favorite date night spots in Greensboro?! 

A: Nick and I both appreciate a good date night! I will say, we’re creatures of habit when it comes to the spots we love. For date night we have a few spots that we love going where we feel at home!

-GIA EAT. DRINK. LISTEN. | GIA is one of our favorites because it’s the place where we re-connected for the first time! Anytime we get the chance we head back there for date night (and sit at the same table when we can!) Not only is the atmosphere great, the bartenders are so friendly and knowledgeable and the tapas-style menu is always good. They do a rotating menu and I don’t think we’ve ever had a bad meal or drink there. They also do cocktail classes on the first Sunday of every month and they’re always a great time and a perfect date idea!
-GREEN VALLEY GRILL | We love heading to GVG and grabbing dinner and drinks in the bar area (or outdoors if it’s nice out!) Something about the feel of the bar feels so homey to us! You can most definitely find us there often in the winter ha!
-PRINT WORKS BISTRO /PROXIMITY | Of course I can’t do this roundup without mentioning Print Works Bistro! There’s nothing better than their outdoor space and bar! We love going there for “day dates” in the spring and summer. We’ll order cocktails or a bottle of wine + apps while we sit in their beautiful courtyard area.
-1618 SEAFOOD GRILL | You really can’t go wrong with any of the 1618 restaurants (seafood, midtown, downtown) but the seafood grill is our favorite because the food is out of this world! Their menu changes constantly, but everything is always phenomenal – like you can’t go wrong with ANYTHING that you order.

Q: What was the biggest change in being engaged & being married? Was there a noticeable difference? 

A: To be completely honest, there wasn’t that much of a difference for us between the time we got engaged and now that we’re married. Living together before getting married was definitely a factor in that, but we have also always had an ease in our relationship where we both felt comfortable and secure. I think the biggest change once we got married is the feeling of being a unit and a family of our own. Our decisions are family decisions now and hold much more weight to them. And the funny answer to this is we are no longer asked about wedding related XYZ, we’re being asked when we’re going to start a family! The questions never end no matter what stage of life you’re in!

Hope y’all enjoyed this Q&A and that you have a great weekend! Thanks so much for reading! XO

Leave a Reply

13 Comments

  1. What a fun idea for a blog post! Loved reading about your favorite date night spots!

    xo, Hillary | hillheady.com

    Posted 2.8.19 Reply
  2. Rach wrote:

    I’m the same way and had to get use to saying “we” and “us” versus “I”. I also felt no difference between engaged and marriage!

    Posted 2.8.19 Reply
  3. Laura Adney wrote:

    This is so original! And have to agree with the “us” and “we” it is so weird after so long of just being “you” and “me”

    Posted 2.8.19 Reply
  4. Beth wrote:

    Tell folks nunya when they ask about starting a family! It’s nobody’s business but you and Nick. We chose not to have children and I quickly shut my MIL down the first time she asked!

    Posted 2.8.19 Reply
    • Emily wrote:

      Totally agree! It’s luckily never our immediate family who are asking! It’s usually strangers, people we work with or extended family we rarely talk to/see! Our immediate family and siblings are extremely respectful of our privacy and never pressure us! They know when we are ready we will let them know and once we’re pregnant we will let them know too! 🙂

      Posted 2.8.19 Reply
  5. kileen wrote:

    This was such an interesting blog post to read! Loved reading your answers, thank you for sharing!! It definitely becomes a team effort!

    Kileen
    cute & little

    Posted 2.9.19 Reply
  6. Deanie wrote:

    I love this idea for a blog post! And I loved learning more about you and your husband and how you work together in your marriage. ❤️ Being a team is so important!
    Xo, Deanie
    Deanie Michelle

    Posted 2.9.19 Reply
  7. I loved reading this q&a! so fun to hear how other couples do life together.

    Posted 2.10.19 Reply
  8. Danielle wrote:

    It’s always fun to have a little look into others’ relationship, and compare it to your own. I totally agree about the “I’s” turning into “we’s”!

    xx, Danielle

    Posted 2.10.19 Reply
  9. Stephanie wrote:

    So cool to read more about your relationship and your marriage! I love how every couple is unique and functions differently.

    Posted 2.10.19 Reply
  10. What a fun Q&A! You two are the cutest.

    Posted 2.10.19 Reply
  11. lyddiegal wrote:

    Sounds like you’ve got such an amazing marriage! I hope you have a special valentine’s day!
    Chic on the Cheap

    Posted 2.10.19 Reply
  12. Such great questions! I feel like communication overall is a pillar in a successful relationship. Can’t keep things bottled up, especially if something is bothering you, just communicating can open up doors and fix a problem. I agree with some separations for the checking/savings accounts, especially for surprises!

    Posted 2.11.19 Reply

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